I had intended to write here more frequently during Lean Eating, but have been worried about this blog being public. I think the benefit of writing and getting the support of my dear friends is far too great to worry about the potential consequences. So what if someone else I know stumbles across this. All I'm talking about is food and exercise, right?
So there's this Lean Eating exercise that I've been avoiding for pretty much exactly a month:
- Think of the most common thoughts and ideas you have about your Lean Eating progress and experience.
- Imagine that each thought/idea represents a character on your “inner team”. Envision these characters clearly.
- Decide who stays and who gets cut from the team roster.
I honestly don't know why I've been avoiding this so long, except that maybe it felt like too much hard work -- too much introspection. This is ridiculous though; I'm never going to get anywhere with any of this if I don't do some heavy lifting.
My most common thoughts on Lean Eating these days are thus:
- There is no way I can continue this long-term. I am not strong enough to resist the temptations of modern city living. (Weakling)
- I miss eating the things my friends eat. I feel limited in my choices. (Peer-pressure-caver)
- I can't believe that I've only lost X inches / Y pounds so far. Other people have lost twice that! I'm clearly not trying hard enough / not dedicating myself enough / missing some secret thing that others know about / a failure. (Comparer)
- Other people must have a happy, bouncy, optimistic gene that I lack. Random so-called "inspirational" quotes just aren't that inspiring to me. (Downer)
- I can't believe I'm only where I was at when I started Weight Watchers. (Comparer)
- This is incredibly hard work and I just don't know if it's worthwhile. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just eat crap for the rest of my life and die early. (Whiner)
Tinier voices:
- Okay, maybe I am getting somewhere here. It took 4 months, but I am seeing progress. (Progress Recognizer)
- I have some muscles that I didn't used to have. (Progress Recognizer)
- A couple of people have commented that I look like I'm losing weight. That's gratifying. (External Praise Recognizer)
- My trainer commented that I was strong... much stronger than I thought. (External Praise Recognizer)
- If I keep going, perhaps this will get easier and easier.
- I am making many positive changes in my life even if I'm not exactly where I want to be yet. (Progress Recognizer)
- It's okay to stumble as long as I get back up. (Encourager)
- I think maybe I can do this. (Optimist)
Clearly I have a lot of negative people on my team. I know I need to stop whining, comparing, etc. and focus on my own journey. It's going to be extremely difficult, but I think in my heart of hearts I still know that it will be worthwhile. This is stupid, but there is nothing I want more than a shopping spree at Anthropologie when I get to my goal size... and a blood test to show that my health has genuinely improved.
